Monday, September 08, 2003

shit, its the first dae and i'm hating my work alreadi, just been told that i cant be a front line officer, coz i have a slight colour deficency. that crushed my world almost instantly. i wanited so long and rejected so many interviews to become a frontline officer so as to deal crime right in the face. in the end, i'm not going to be carry a revolver nor am i going to be breaking some criminals' leg with the t baton skills that i'm have been taught with. i might as weel have signed up for other posting in the first place. got the best in ops fitness so that i can be sitting in front of a desk to carry a pen ard. life never been this bad.

i just walked back from the police station, took me half an hour. there wasnt any bus to my house from there. another new meaning to so near yet so far. mum told me that even if i got my bike license, i cant buy a bike. wat the.... wonder how many more daes am i going to walk home.

yesterdae tried breaking at home, don know whether its no mood or i lost it. cant do even the simplest of stuff. and i wanted to try some new stuff that i saw online. damn it.

wish i still have my baobei by my side, could rilly use the love that she used to give me. this year is by far the worst ever. so many reasons for me to kill myself over and over ten times in a row. god, give me some slack, please..... haiz.
gilbert at 3:29 AM [comment]

{I hear voices, voices only half as humane as mine..}